Thursday, July 2, 2009

Worst. Drivers. Ever.

After being nearly run over by a Masshole in a mall parking lot last week, I came to a conclusion: states with the worst drivers require license plates on the front of vehicles so that you know who's responsible right before you get up close and personal with their windshield. In this case, I nearly had "Massachusetts, The Spirit of America" tattooed on my shins.

Exhibit A: we all know that the worst drivers in the world are from Ohio. Duh. Ohio is undoubtedly "The birthplace of aviation" because they knew even prior to the invention of the automobile that they would be far more skilled in the air than on land. Having lived in two states that border Ohio (which requires a front plate), I can confirm that when you see an erratic or careless driver on the road, 90% of the time they are from Ohio. I'm sure Ohio has some talented motorists. I have many friends that live in Ohio. Buckeyes are not renowned for being good drivers, however. Since Ohio also doesn't require passenger car safety inspections, you can see"interesting" vehicles on the road bearing an Ohio plate.

To provide further evidence to support my theory, the following states also require front license plates and represent eight of the ten states with the worst drivers, according to the 2009 GMAC Insurance National Drivers Test:
  • New Jersey
  • New York
  • California
  • Hawaii
  • Connecticut
  • Massachusetts
  • Maryland
  • Rhode Island
I am convinced that Pennsylvania could never require two plates, because there would be mass protests from the millions of citizens who would have to remove the Steelers plates from the front of their cars.

1 comment:

  1. Ne'er truer words can be said about Ohio drivers...

    New Mexico has only one license plate, but I would say that they have a special place in my worst drivers list. They also have no inspection. They also have many "cars" that are questionable.