Friday, May 21, 2010

Top 10 Songs Stuck in my Head, Part 2

So, I've been mulling over the top five for the past 24 hours. I've even been taking notes. Yes, I'm a dork. But I take my responsibilities to you, dear reader, quite seriously.

After much introspection and soul searching, I've determined the top five songs stuck in my head:

5. "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," Charlie Daniels Band

Charlie Daniels always makes me think of my junior high bus driver. She had a drink cozy next to her driver's seat that said, "My two best friends are Charlie and Jack Daniels." It probably wouldn't have inspired tremendous confidence in any parent who might have seen it, but she was awesome, nonetheless. Coincidentally, when this song gets stuck in my head, it truly does make me feel as though the devil got my soul. It also reminds me of the old Pizza Inn in Moundsville, WV, where it got heavy rotation on the jukebox in the '80s.

Top line stuck in my head: "Fire on the mountain, run boys run. The devil's in the house of the risin' sun. Chicken in the bread pan, pickin' out dough. 'Granny, does your dog bite?' 'No, child, no.'"

Aaaand, cue fiddle.

4. "Party in the U.S.A.," Miley Cyrus

This might be the best worst song ever. Or the worst best song. I can't decide. I have no idea how I have been exposed to this insipid song so many times, but really, it only takes one listen for it to start ricocheting around your brain like a berserk pinball.

Top line stuck in my head: "So I put my hands up, they're playing my song, and the butterflies fly away. I'm noddin' my head like, 'yeah.' Movin' my hips like, 'yeah.'"

Like, "no." Who writes this drivel?

3. "It Takes Two," Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock

Could I love a song more than this? Perhaps. But it ranks way up there in my heart. Twenty-two years after its release, "It Takes Two," is still guaranteed to make you shake your booty. If I hear it in the car, I'm not afraid to pull over and stage an impromptu dance party. Trust.

Top line stuck in my head: It's nearly impossible to pick, because I know every word, and the whole thing is awesome. But I'll have to go with, "I got an idea, that I wanna share. You don't like it? So what? I don't care." Words to live by.

2. "Jump Around," House of Pain

"Jump Around" + your cousin's wedding reception x open bar - shame = crazy Uncle Bernard doing the running man in a tuxedo.

Top line stuck in my head: "I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe, if your girl steps up, I'm smackin' the ho. Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs. I got more rhymes than the Bible's got Psalms."

Let's all avert our eyes from the misogyny and just nod our heads like, "yeah."

1. "Single Ladies," Beyonce

Kayne West was right. Beyonce did make one of the best videos of all time. It's difficult to separate the song from the already iconic video, which has been re-enacted (poorly, for the most part, no doubt) thousands of times in thousands of living rooms, and uploaded to YouTube in droves. This song is seriously in my head at least once a week. Beyonce is an evil genius. Important to note: she has ensured herself a spot in every wedding reception; "Single Ladies" is the perfect song to accompany the bride's tossing of the bouquet.

Top line stuck in my head: "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it." Lather, rinse, repeat ad nauseam.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions:
"Baby," Justin Bieber (Hillary Swank's elfin doppelganger)
"Umbrella," Rihanna (I can no longer say "umbrella" without adding, "Ella, ella, eh, eh.")
"Here Comes the Hot Stepper," Ini Kamoze (Ch-ch-ching ching!)
Any commercial (I should have seen it comin' at me like an atom bomb.)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Top 10 Songs Stuck in my Head, Part 1

More often than not, on any given day, I have a song stuck in my head. My brain clearly has some masochistic tendencies, because these songs are usually crap. And let's face it, after hearing it repeatedly in your head for hours on end, any song is going to suck. This phenomenon has been termed an "earworm."

Adding to the trauma, my earworms typically involve one small section of a song, repeated over, and over, and over again in my head. This is likely because I have picked it up from TV, or in a store, and I don't actually know all of the lyrics. I try to "re-program" my brain by thinking of another, better song, but that tactic usually fails, and I have to let it run its course.

Here's the top 10 songs stuck in my head (and actually, not all of them are crap).

10. "Baby Got Back," by Sir Mix-A-Lot
This is a classic, to be sure, but it's not exactly the height of intelligent, insightful lyricism. I am not ashamed to admit that I do actually know every word to this song. OK, after typing that, I change my mind. I am ashamed.

Top line stuck in my head: "My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon."
Yep. Ashamed.

9. Subway's "Five-dollar footlong" jingle
This is some insidous business. I actually read an article on Slate a few years ago in which the author speaks to the composer of the jingle, in an effort to determine if there was indeed a diabolical earworm strategy behind it. Read it for yourself to get the answer.

Top line stuck in my head: Umm. "Five. Five dollar. Five dollar foot looooooong."

8. "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'," by Michael Jackson
Ok, this song is actually pretty awesome. After MJ's death last year, I had quite a few of his songs stuck in my brain's rotation. There are far worse earworms until you get to the...

Top line stuck in my head: "Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa, ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa." MAKE IT STOP!

7. "We Will Rock You," by Queen
It's a sports stadium staple, complete with stomp-and-clap crowd participation. Queen does, in fact, rock us. I don't, however, appreciate them taking up residence in my head, rent-free, for hours on end.

Top line stuck in my head: "We will, we will, rock you." Duh.

6. "Tik Tok," by Ke$ha
I felt even more ashamed after typing that idiotic dollar sign in her name. I don't listen to top 40 radio often (because I am rarely in the car; I drive less than 4,000 miles a year. That's a story for another day), but this song has been pretty inescapable. It seems to be on TV nonstop. Because it's used often in promos, I don't actually know all of the lyrics. That may be a blessing, but it also means there's just one...

Top line stuck in my head: "Don't stop, make it pop, DJ, blow my speakers up, tonight, I'mma fight, till we see the sunlight."

Stay tuned for the Top 5!